The Munchies Factor

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If I were a hedge fund guy, I would buy and sell stocks of junk food – particularly potato chips – according to the winds of change regarding federal policy towards marijuana. When the feds crack down, junk food sales probably fall, Freakanomics style. That would be the logic. In the real world, federal policy on marijuana probably does not matter; few people take it seriously.

Amazingly, the Trump administration is still running around – Reefer Madness style – thinking that marijuana is a “drug” of some kind. It’s just a plant, not even remotely comparable to the power and toxicity of real drugs like crystal meth and heroin.

I see drugs as sitting on a spectrum. On the left side are caffeine and marijuana, which exist naturally, and on the right side the artificial, synthetic concoctions that cause real harm.

The weed charge is being led my Jeff Sessions, who may have drank too much Alabama moonshine growing up, especially the discount version distilled in old car radiators. That’s one theory to explain his flawed thinking: the idea that marijuana belongs in the same category as heroin.

There is something about adolescence that compels people to push the boundaries of convention. That’s why the legalization of marijuana actually leads to a fall in adolescent use of that weed.

Too much marijuana usage leads to couch potato syndrome, not crime. It’s probably not the healthiest thing to do. It’s smoking, after all. But if someone has glaucoma or cancer or an auto-immune disease, they should smoke a lot of weed.

The larger tragedy is that the federal government is about to waste time and resources on marijuana prosecutions. This continues the Nixonian legacy of Reefer Madness and the criminalization of personal behavior.

Perhaps the prison population is beginning to fall. That cannot happen in a hedge fund driven political system (with many prisons being private corporations). That would explain the new war on marijuana.

The only real supporters of a federal crackdown – besides the prison-industrial complex – are Blood-and-Soil christians, old testament authoritarians, and other boot-on-the-face right wingers.

This news item is a reminder that the Trump administration is a parody.

You either get the joke, or you do not.

 

 

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